As usual...

I guess it's better late than never, right?

Quick update on the month: made lots more candy, did Christmas shopping and wrapping, started school again, and had round 6 of chemo. Been busy.
I'm officially done making candy, but still have to sort it into tins. I'm pretty happy with what I've gotten everyone for Christmas (wish I could have done a little more though), just hope they all like their presents! And I'm LOVING school! The class I started 2 weeks ago is called Mixed Media, and it's all about drawing and painting, and it's taking me out of my head!

Right now, I really need that. I had a treatment today, but first there was my appointment with Dr Lancaster. He was straight with me from the beginning about this being treatable, but not necessarily curable. But with the CT scan results, I really got my hopes up. They are still up, but not nearly as high. Dr. Lancaster told me today that once metastasis has occurred, the possibility of a cure is slim to none. In his words, "miracles happen..." I have a PET scan scheduled for January 3rd, and another appt with Dr. Lancaster on the 9th. So that will give me a much clearer picture of what is going on inside of me. There is still a decent possibility of shrinkage.
On the upside, if things are going as planned (i.e. nothing has spread or grown further) then I'll be downgrading my chemo. Just Alimta once every 3 weeks, no more Carboplatin. The Doc calls it "maintenance" and he seems pretty happy about it.
Of course, after all this, I kind of stopped breathing for a minute. It was hard to hear him say that I'll basically have cancer forever. 10,000 questions passed though my mind - but none of them would form in my mouth...the lump in my throat was too big.

So, as I sat down for treatment Sandra, my nurse for the day, noticed I was pretty upset and asked what was wrong. She sat down with me and answered every question I could think of. She said that with very few exceptions, no cancer is ever truly "cured" - 99% of cancers are either maintained at a stable place, or have the possibility of recurrence. At least that is something I won't need to worry about - I won't have recurrence, just have to monitor for symptoms and growth/spread. The way Sandra explained it made a lot of sense - Cancer is a disease, just like Diabetes or High Blood Pressure. They need to be monitored and medicated. They are all potentially very harmful. It just so happens that my medicine is chemo, and I'll be taking it for the rest of my life, just like a diabetic may need insulin.

So, this is where I am. I have Lung Cancer, and it is most definitely mine. However, it is only a disease, and it is treatable, and maintainable. But it is by no means a death sentence.

Sorry for being a party pooper...
Amanda and them