One tequila, two tequila...

Yup, it's one of those kind of days.

I know a few of you have asked me to update my blog, but I wanted to wait until I got the whole picture first. I went to the oncologists on Tuesday, Dr Dutta (Radiologist Onc) and Dr Lancaster (Hematologist Onc). Both Dr's are very nice and thorough, and neither sugar-coated anything - which I love about them.
Dr Dutta's visit went pretty well, he explained a lot about the type of radiation used to combat cancer, saying it is just like an xray but about 1000 times stronger. He also told me that my age and weight were two things that would help me get through treatment more easily than some other cancer patients. He told me to keep eating and I started laughing. I said to him, "You are the first doctor I have EVER spoken to that told me to stay fat!!" I like him! LOL

Dr Lancaster's visit went...um, ok as well. He's extremely straightforward and matter-of-fact. He was the first Dr to tell me that the cancer had moved into the lymph nodes in my lung, and answered every single question I had about the subject. At that point he told me I was at Stage 3B, because it was in the lymph nodes and because at this point it is inoperable. He said they wanted to put me on a combination chemo - carboplatin and taxol - and do radiation every day for 6 weeks. He said it was treatable, but he could not guarantee it was curable.

This hit home in a big way. It was the first time that it occurred to me that this might actually kill me. Up to then, I just thought I would go through treatment and that would be the end of it. I thought, because it was so shocking that I was diagnosed with lung cancer in the first place, that it couldn't get any worse!
Tuesday, it got worse.

Wednesday, I went for my PET scan. It was a breeze, I had an IV put in, then injected with radioactive glucose by a huge lead-encased needle, and went to sleep for an hour. The nurses got me up and took me to what looked like a huge CT scanner, positioned me, and I went back to sleep for another hour! Piece of cake!

Today, it got worse again.
I had a PET scan follow-up appointment today. Dr Lancaster told me the previous CT and bone scans missed something. The cancer had spread. There are "small lesions" in the posterior pelvis, in one of my ribs, in one armpit, and in the my left pectoral muscle. He did say, however, that all of my major organs (other than my left lung, of course) are clear. Oh yeah...and I'm Stage 4.
He's changed the chemo plan to carboplatin, alimta, and avastin (no radiation at this point). I'll have one dose every 3 weeks for 9 weeks. So three visits to the Cancer Center for that, but The week following treatment I'll have to go back for blood work to see how my blood count is. If it's too low, I'll be under house arrest for 5 days with no real contact with the outside world. This all starts this coming Wednesday.
I never bothered to ask Dr Lancaster what my chances are, I really don't want to know. I'm afraid it will affect how well I do in the fight. In my mind, I'll be 100% fine. The treatments WILL work, and I WILL pull through this. There's is no point in him telling me any different.

Right now, I feel like I'm on this enormous mental/emotional roller coaster that has no end in sight. It has some great ups, some disgusting downs, and the loop-the-loops are starting to make me slightly queasy. But so far, there have been more laughs and smiles than tears and wallowing. I'm still looking forward and staying positive, with my eyes wide open. I just hope I don't puke on this ride!!!

Later All,
Mandy, Goober, and Goober's devilish little minions